Sick Sick Go Away!!!!

Well, it's 8:08 on Thursday evening, all three kids are asleep, and I'm sitting down to blog again. Of the 3 times that Kevin has traveled since we've become parents, this has been by far the most difficult. Every other time, there has been something else to keep my mind off of things, or help from friends. This time, there isn't much of either. Don't get me wrong -- if I asked, I know my friends would step up and help me in all and any ways that they were able to. But we've been dealing with a bug in this house that I can't risk exposing them (or, in many cases their kids) to, so I haven't asked for the help. Rachel was sick on Friday night/Saturday (Kevin was still home to help me deal with that one), Simon got sick Sunday night/Monday, and at around 12:45 today, I received a phone call from Daniel's school informing me that he was crying, complaining of a headache, and had a fever of over 101, so I immediately picked him up. Of the 3, he seems to have the worst -- he's actually vomited once (the other two never did) and he just seems to be much more miserable. There's very little I can do about it. If he's still feeling so badly in the morning, I'll call the pediatrician to be sure that it's nothing that requires antibiotics (he has a history of strep with minimal symptoms).

The problem is not having to take care of the kids. I'm a parent and I do that willingly. I miss not getting the break when he would come home around 5:00 or so, but I know it's only for the week. It's not even that terrible dealing with sick children. I'm lucky (I think) that they've spread this out and I've only had to deal with one ill child at a time. The real problem is I need time to recharge my energy, best done when I don't have to take care of any children. In theory, I'm supposed to have about 6 hours Tuesday-Friday to do just that (Simon gets picked up at 8:45 and gets home at 2:45 -- he's the last to leave and the first to return home). It's closer to 4 hours on Mondays (since Simon only has half-days on Mondays). Those 6 hours would allow me to de-stress a bit. I'd have an opportunity to get together with a friend or two, go to a MOMS Club meeting, read a book, play on the computer, with minimal demands on my time.

Instead of 4 days for the week that I'm on my own, I am getting one day of that break this week. Simon was home on Monday. There was no school on Tuesday (which I did know about when I was thinking through the week). Thursday, I had to pick Daniel up early and take care of him this afternoon. And tomorrow, he'll be home again, regardless of how he's feeling in the morning. Granted, taking care of Daniel this afternoon required me to listen to 2 hours of Phineas and Ferb while he vegged in front of the television while I ate my lunch and ran around ready to catch the next vomit wave while trying to clean up the first one. Also, I had to get in touch with a neighbor Mom to inform her I couldn't pick up her son to bring him home from school since Daniel was sick.

The other problem this week is the lack of sleep. Simon's sleep habits have gotten better since he recovered from this latest bug, but he's still capable of leaving his room at will. I am noticing though, that he's staying in his room until after 5am and, if he's up in the middle of the night, he's gone back to crawling into Rachel's bed and going back to sleep. This brings us closer to where we were about 2 weeks ago, which is a relief. It's still not perfect, but it could be so much worse.

I'm just looking forward to Kevin coming home Saturday afternoon so I can run away for a few hours on Sunday and do something that has NOTHING to do with responsibility. I'm not sure when I'm going to get that chance (we have to do a Sam's Club run [we're running out of EVERYTHING] and Daniel has his first baseball game in the afternoon), but I will find it. And Kevin will have to deal with this bunch for a bit while I take the time to de-stress just a bit. Not sure how, or what I'll do. But it will be SOMETHING.

Another one of "THOSE" weeks....

Kevin is traveling this week. He was supposed to do this trip when we were in Connecticut, but it didn't work that way (the actual trip was postponed). He left early Monday morning and should be home before dinner on Saturday. Here it is, Tuesday night, and it feels like he's been gone for a month.

In all fairness, nothing has gone according to plan. We weren't anticipating Rachel being sick this past weekend, leading to Simon being sick Sunday night-Monday. We weren't anticipating sleep issues resurfacing and me going on 11 hours of sleep over the last 3 nights combined. We weren't anticipating Daniel's baseball practice to not be at the bottom of the hill, or the timing issues of getting him to his gymnastics class on Wednesday, which has led me to cancel the class this week. We didn't realize that Rachel's Back-To-School-Night was going to be on Thursday evening which I will have to miss. And Kevin didn't realize (until much later) that the kids would be off from school (scheduled) today for the Primary elections.

But we made it through today. We went to a new playground (for us) that wasn't fenced in, and, even though Rachel liked to leave the playground itself, she always returned when called. Simon was a bit daring and was climbing the structures that I would never have thought he would have had the nerve to try. He did fall once, but then 15 minutes later, was back up there to try it again (only fell once -- the following 2 attempts were successful). Daniel had fun being social with existing friends who we had met there. Then, when it was time to leave, there were no tantrums. I took advantage of another mom I know being there and was able to load them into the car one at a time and they were surprisingly cooperative. YAY!

I'm just exhausted. I was so tired last night, I woke at 1:30am with Simon asleep next to me in my bed. I missed him knocking down the gate to his room. I missed him running in. I missed him (I'm sure) climbing over me to get settled in the position I found him in. But, unfortunately, he's started needing me to stay with him when he wakes during the night, and this has been happening multiple times during the night (4-5 times on each of the last 3 nights). He needs for me to stay in his room, leaning on his bed. As soon as I leave, if he's not fully asleep, he follows me back to my bed within 5 minutes. In one night, I pretty much undid 16 months of sleep training. I'm hoping that, now that he's no longer sick, we will find ourselves back to where we were before this bug took hold. Because, now that he knows how to get out of his room, I'm not sure how we're going to retrain him.

I just need a LOT of sleep.....

Simon, go back to sleep.......PLEASE!!!!!!!!

We've had problems with Simon's sleep habits on and off since he turned 1 year old. The first year, he was the easier sleep twin and would sleep through Rachel waking during the night. He'd often sleep all the way through -- at worst he'd wake up once around 3am (with Rachel) for a quick snack. Then everything changed.

Suddenly, Simon didn't want to sleep. It would take him forever to fall asleep. Then he'd wake up several times and I'd be in his room for what seemed like hours every night. He'd take long naps that I would have to end so that we'd have a prayer of him falling asleep at night again. Then, at the urging of others, we forced the issue and taught him to put himself to sleep when he was about 27-28 months old. It would take him (what seemed like) forever (an average of an hour a night), but he'd do it. We also started making him go back to sleep by himself if he woke during the night, which happened nearly every night for about 5 months (starting last August). Then he turned 3, lost the nap, started his new school program, and things finally seemed to get better.

I had been warned that this may happen, from the time we started receiving services. Some autistic kids are fully awake in the middle of the night and are loud, rowdy, and seem ready for the day. These cycles can last a while. We had one of those for those 5 months in the latter half of 2009 -- he would wake up between 4 and 4:30 and if we were lucky, he'd fall back to sleep around 5:30. I had also been warned that this is the type of behavior can resurface periodically. I know someone who has this with her own son and, when these cycles happen, she stays awake listening to him every night. The only 2 positive aspects of these behaviors in Simon is (1) he doesn't intentionally disturb anyone else -- I'm usually woken up by him, Kevin will sometimes wake to his antics, but the other 2 kids will almost always sleep through it and (2) he does this relatively late (currently in the 5am hour, historically starting in the 4am hour). Because of that, I've been able to justify keeping the twins together in the same room for the time being. Simon will occupy himself in his own room, playing with the few toys that are left in there, walking around, opening/closing the closet door, knocking down the glider chair that his Dad sits in to read their bedtime stories, etc. We periodically discover something that he has learned a new destructive way to manipulate, and we do our best to fix it (i.e. bungee-cord shut the dresser drawers so he can't climb in). He's actually destroyed the screw holes in the door frame for the hinges on the door to his bedroom already so that we cannot hang the door, so we've been using a gate in its place.

Now he's discovered how to remove the gate, which means he no longer stays contained in his room. He will pull down the pressure mounted gate, climb over it and come running into my side of the bed, so proud of himself for figuring out how to get around that last obstacle. If I bring him back to his bed and leave him in his room, he'll just come after me, pulling down the gate once again if I put it back up. I can't stay with him in his room or I'll be taking that step back. So, for the last 2 mornings, I've been letting him climb into the bed with me. This morning, when I got up to get ready for my day, giving up on the possibility that Simon might fall back to sleep, he followed me, realized I was boring, and went into his brother's room to play with the toys, thus waking him up. This is what I'm most afraid of. If I can't keep him contained in his own room, what's to stop him from waking the rest of the family, or getting into trouble in a room that isn't set up for Simon's mid-night antics?

Additionally, this morning was earlier than yesterday (5:30am yesterday, just before 5am today). This is probably my first clue that we're working our way closer to the 4:00am wake-up time from last year, and our new cycle of this behavior has begun.

I need to stop this. I need to stop this now. I can't do this for the next 5 months. I especially can't deal with this right now when Kevin will be gone for 5 nights for a business trip next week. I have to figure out how to get Simon to go back to sleep quickly, in his room, and stay in his room. NOW!!!!!

If I don't, I AM GOING TO LOSE MY MIND!!!!!!!!!!!

Take 2

Today's the day. Rachel starts school. She has been so patient last week -- I think she thoroughly enjoyed spending the time with me, but she still missed getting on the bus and traveling to school. She wanted to see her teachers. She wanted to learn. And, most of all, she wanted the strict routine that the program provides, with all of it's predictability and curveballs. So, when she woke this morning and I told her she was going to school, she was a VERY happy little girl.

Breakfast went like normal, but, as was the case when Rachel and Simon turned 3 and started to take the bus to school, the bus came earlier than I was prepared for. The driver and aide informed me that the time had (yet again) been changed -- the letter I received from the transportation office said the pick-up time was 8:06 -- the time on their sheet was 7:55 (it was 8:00 last week when I spoke to them when they dropped Simon off early last week, and of course, no one thought to inform me). So, I rushed to bring Rachel to the bathroom and put on her shoes, neither job had been done yet. When we stepped outside and she saw the bus waiting for her, she was so happy, she couldn't get on the bus fast enough.
I went back inside to deal with getting the boys ready for school and all was going as normal. As soon as Simon's bus left, Daniel and I would get in the car and I would drive him down the hill to make it as likely as possible that he would arrive to school on time. Then, at 8:30, the doorbell rings. The first thing I'm thinking is that Simon's bus is there early as well, and the driver made some changes to the route to help me out. But it's not the driver -- it's our neighbor who has a son in kindergarten. She and I spoke briefly about the possibility of her driving Daniel to school in the morning and I would bring her son home in the afternoon. She was asking if I was still interested. YES!!!!! So, we quickly finished getting Daniel ready and he was off!!!!!! Then Simon's bus arrived on time and he was off for his first full day of the year.

Now we have a very livable solution to one of my biggest concerns early in this school year. Now I can focus on everything else that's waiting for my attention.

Rachel's first day went very well. The notes from her teacher mentioned all the positives and that they are trying to determine how much she's retained over the summer. I think they'll be very pleasantly surprised at her growth and not surprised by any of her regressions.

I called the Autism Office to ask about scheduling an IEP Meeting for Rachel -- according to her ESY teacher, she was getting very close to achieving many of her annual goals. I also have a few goals I'd like to add to the document to address issues that really weren't pressing last December that are becoming more important to us now that other things are so improved. I heard back from the school later this afternoon and they've asked if we can hold off for a little while until they determine whether and (if so) how she's regressed since the end of ESY (5 weeks ago). I do know there's been some regression (as expected), so I suspect we'll probably have our annual meeting close to when it's due. But at least now I've put in that request and made it clear that I have some concerns.

So, now school is on. We all have to get used to our new routine. Based on how things have gone over the last 10 calendar days, I doubt that's going to be a serious issue. I have a good feeling about things right now, for the first time in quite a while. It's a nice feeling.

About to try again....

.....well, tomorrow is Take 2 at the First Day of School. This time I'm CERTAIN that all 3 kids are supposed to be in school for the full day. I've checked. No excuses. Simon has his first "Full-Day", and Rachel has her TRUE first day. Daniel even has his first "homework assignment" due. No more dress rehearsals. It's really here.

One neat thing, and an added bonus of having Rachel start a week later than the other 2, is that Simon's bus driver/aide in the afternoon is the SAME PAIRING as for Rachel in the morning. So, on Friday, we had her get on the bus when Simon was dropped off to meet the two of them. This went well. Hopefully, this will help her tomorrow morning. Not that getting on the bus is a problem for her. She LOVES that part of the day.

So, for tomorrow, I'll put Rachel in a pretty dress (but probably a different one than last Monday) and get ready to put her on the bus. I'll get her lunch together. She has the same teacher as last year (unsure of the paras at this point) and she's really excited about seeing "Ms. Suzanne". And I've already contacted the teacher about an incident that happened earlier this summer (the allergic reaction that happened at her camp), so she's aware of it. [that reminds me, I need to schedule an appointment for her to see someone when Simon's in school].

So, all the things I had planned for last week will now be done during the short 3-day week this week. I'll get my day off tomorrow (mostly) and be able to relax a bit and catch my breath. Then I'll try to get my bearings and get ready for the semi-calm insanity of catching up on everything that I've fallen behind upon, including house cleaning, reading and research. But the time will be mine, which will hopefully allow me to have the patience to deal with my three loveable monsters when school ends each day.

What a Week!!!!!

This week has been, well, we'll just call it a week. A comedy of errors and flubs. A week of insanity. A week of changes. Like I said, we'll just call it "a week".

I'm still not sure what happened on Monday. I thought I was fully prepared. I had pulled everything together by Sunday evening. Yet, on Monday morning, it all fell apart when the word came down that Rachel didn't start school for another week. She was the first one scheduled to leave. When that didn't go as planned, it just set off a series of errors that just seemed to snowball all day long. I guess I should simply say that I can't handle being wrong-footed.

By Tuesday, things were a bit better. My self-pity had resolved and I kept my existing plans, with a few modifications. Taking Rachel for a coffee visit with a friend at Starbucks isn't exactly an easy thing to do. But, it worked and I was able to stay for a while. And I think she had fun too. And the rest of the week continued in much the same way. We took care of some things that need to be addressed. And we had some fun along the way. But we also had some disappointments.

The biggest disappointment is the delay of dance classes. We have been members at The Little Gym of Germantown (http://www.thelittlegym.com/GermantownTN/Pages/default.aspx) for nearly 3 years, since I stopped working outside the home. Rachel and Simon started taking classes there about 2 years ago (we had to take last fall off because of our unpredictable schedule [among other reasons, autism being at the heart of it]). Ever since she started, she has wanted to be a part of any dance class she saw. She would run into the room and we would have to drag her out kicking and screaming. So, in the spring, when they told us she was ready for a non-parent assisted class, we figured that the time would be PERFECT to enroll her in dance. When the schedule came out for the fall, we were concerned. There was only one class that would work around her school schedule. But we signed her up for it. The first (and last) class was Thursday evening. Only 3 little girls were enrolled, and they need a minimum of 4. They knew there was no available dance class that would work for her, so we switched her back to gymnastics. And we'll try again for the winter/spring session (the classes are 20 weeks long).

Next week is a new week. After the 3-day weekend, the school year begins in earnest. Full days for both of the twins. Daniel is already into the swing of things in kindergarten. Things continue to change. Our children continue to grow. And we never know what tomorrow will bring. But it's always an interesting challenge.

"It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year....."

Today was supposed to be a great day for all of us. We got up early, and everyone was excited about school starting again. Daniel was starting kindergarten. Simon was going to a new classroom (same program). And Rachel was going back to her much-missed routine. I would get my "Me Time" back. And Domino would get some undivided attention, which she clearly missed.

Everything was going so well, too. The kids ate breakfast and lunches were all packed. Shoes were lined up by the door. And, even though we knew we had a timing issue issue with Simon's bus and Daniel's school, we were ready. Then, at just after 8:00, I took Rachel outside to wait for her bus. I left the boys inside the house -- Daniel was playing on the computer -- Simon was watching Sprout's Wiggly Waffle, specifically Thomas and Friends to be followed by The Wiggles. I know -- leaving the TV to watch a 3.5 year old isn't wise, but he won't leave during those 2 shows.



We're sitting out there, waiting for the bus. And waiting. And waiting. I know that it's the first day and that things are potentially running late. But at this point the bus is 15 minutes late (and the boys have been inside by themselves MUCH longer than I had planned). So, I call the bus depot. They inform me that Rachel isn't scheduled to be in school until September 7.

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

So, from then on things just fell apart. We had to get Simon outside to wait for the bus. But while I was getting his diaper changed and putting on his shoes, Rachel took off her shoes and socks and wasn't willing to have me put them back on. Daniel, in the meantime, is INSISTING that we walk down the hill to his school. I'll admit it -- I lost my temper a bit and yelled briefly. But, quickly, I got my frustration under control and got everyone outside to wait for Simon's bus. Daniel was "Look-Out". Simon's bus was about 8 minutes late (the same time Daniel is supposed to be at school) but it arrived and Simon climbed on. He warily climbed on and into his seat when he recognized the same driver as last year. All things considered, he did really well and the bus left just in time for the late bell at Daniel's school.



So, I put Rachel in the wagon and we RUSHED down the hill. As we walked into the school, about 4 teachers/paras gave me the argument that the late bell is at 8:50. I told each of them that we knew we were going to have this issue, his teacher and the office had BOTH been informed, and we will be resolving it as quickly as possible (like next week). So, one of the paras took Daniel off to his class (which had already started), but they did let me get that final picture.



The rest of the week will be better. I now know that Rachel is home this week. And as crazy as today was, we have established a slight routine. And, for a change, I have Rachel without the other kids, and she has me to herself. It's going to be a fun week. And then, come next Tuesday, "Me Time" will return.