Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Blogiversary #2

Yesterday marked the 2 year anniversary of when I started this blog. I started it because I was having difficulty coping, in every possible way. I asked for advice but it wasn't enough. I read some books, but it wasn't enough. I looked online. And I became afraid. So, I decided to add my voice to the fray. I didn't know who, if anyone, was ever going to see it. But I would tell my story. I would relate my experiences. I would try to educate others.

It didn't take long for life to interfere with these lofty goals. I felt overwhelmed. Too much was happening too fast. And I was in denial making it very difficult to make decisions. What we were doing wasn't helping Rachel. And we still needed answers. And I couldn't do anything. So, one day, I sat down at the computer and let it all go. I just typed. I vented about my worries. I basically cried into my keyboard. And after I pushed the "Publish Post" button, something happened. The weight of the world was lifted.

It didn't last. I suspect by the next day it was back. But what I was doing in cyberspace changed. I needed to learn to cope. And this blog was going to teach me how. I used it, not to inform or educate like I had planned, but to let it all go. I started writing "pity posts". I still documented what we were doing. I still told our story. But blogging really became a cathartic experience. It really was a place to put all the negativity and frustrations.

This was true for a long time. It's still that, but it's made a change over the last few months. A friend of mine nominated this blog for recognition in one of the contests (specifically on babble.com). And I started looking for opportunities to write guest posts on other blogs. And I couldn't have a pity party on someone else's blog. It was a chance to educate others. It was a chance to explain what my life is like as an Autism Mom. It was a chance to talk about raising twins on the spectrum. It was a chance to reach out to others so they could really start to "Get it" -- something that many Autism Moms feel is lacking in the general population.

That desire is now what's driving this blog. I want people to "Get It"! I want others to understand what Autism families live with every day. I want other Autism families to realize they are not alone. I want to make it clear that every case of autism is unique, even when it affects twins.

So, now I'm back to educating. I'm also venting. This blog continues to grow as I do. I'm still interested in becoming a parent advocate, but I still haven't figured out what that really means. So, for now, this is my version of advocacy. I AM a parent advocate. Just not in the way that I envisioned.

Who knows where I'll be and where this blog will be on June 6, 2012? Keep reading and we'll find out together!!!!!

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