Monday, January 3, 2011

It's a New Year....

I know....I haven't been blogging in a while.....just haven't really had the time. It's not that I have the time now, but I really need to sit down and get myself organized, and blogging helps me to do that.

2011 is here. We went to visit family over the holiday break and it went quite well. We got to meet my brother's girlfriend whom I have wanted to meet for some time (they live in the Detroit, MI area while we live in Maryland). We spent time with both sets of grandparents, all the aunts, uncles and cousins, and the kids really did seem to have a great time. I was just so tired that whole trip -- not sure if it was because of the lack of sleep (Rachel and/or Simon preferred my bed to their own) or the fact that I was fighting/succumbing to a cold. But we did it, and we returned home safely, back to start another calendar full of activities and insanity.

I refuse to make any "New Years Resolutions" -- they never come true and they add unnecessary pressure. But I am going to try to work on a few things this year.

1. Patience. I need more patience. I won't do anyone any good if I am fighting the unfightable.

2. I need to find more personal direction in my life. It's been nearly a year since the twins have started going to school for full days and I'm still "just getting by". I mentioned in a post a while ago that I have decided that I would like to be a parent advocate. Ever since then, I've done nothing to achieve that goal. Making that kind of pronouncement is great. It means I have somewhere to go. But I need to do more than that. So, in the next couple of months, I need to sit down and confirm I understand what that means. Not only that, but I need to figure what I need to do to get there. I realize that may mean that I will come to the conclusion that this career is not the right one for me, but I need to answer these basic questions to make that determination.

3. Organization. It always seems to come down to that. When I was working (outside the home), I used to work on a schedule. In some cases they were put on me by deadlines and other requirements. Other times, they were self-imposed. I had my schedules. I had my "To-Do Lists". And, during my most successful weeks, I would sit at my desk for 30 minutes Monday morning and write out my goals for the week. There were "Must Do" items. There were "Let's Do Our Best To Get These Done" items. There were even "If Life Shocks Us and There's Time" items. These lists were almost never fully checked off (I think that happened twice in nearly 3 years of doing this), but it allowed me to get organized and address what needed to be done. And the list wasn't a static one -- I would add items as they came up. I need to start doing this again. It does feel like I'm wasting 30 minutes early in the week, but if the end result is getting this stuff done, isn't that worth it?

So, this post serves as my first step in getting things under control. Life is good. The kids are doing well and learning. I need to keep letting that happen and start allowing myself to grow as well.

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