The Battle in my Head

Monday (tomorrow) is the first day of school.  Big Brother is starting 3rd grade and Ballerina and Music Man are entering 1st grade.  All 3 are still in the same school and I think all of them are looking forward to the return of routine.  And for the last week or so, we have been doing the normal "preparing" for another school year.

Before the end of last year, I had a conference with Music Man's teacher.  I knew he was struggling in most ways (non-academic) and I asked the question if he needed to repeat kindergarten.  I was wondering if he had the social maturity to advance with his classmates.  His teacher explained that he was definitely ready to move on to first grade and that she truly believed he was going to be successful. That year, her class was a combined kindergarten/first grade class (8 kindergarteners, 3 1st graders).  I followed up that first question if she thought she would keep Music Man in her class should she have a combined class again.  And she told me that she didn't believe so.  The way it was determined who would stay with her and who would move to the other teacher for that year indicated that Music Man would be moving on.  And, at the time, she wasn't sure if she would have any first graders in her classroom (she's basically a kindergarten teacher after all).

But as the year was about to end, she brought Music Man to the car and mentioned that it appeared that they were getting more kindergarteners for the Learning Center than one teacher could teach adequately.  In this 5 minute conversation, she indirectly suggested that she may keep Music Man in her class after all for first grade, should she have a combined class again.  She felt, at that time, that he may benefit with another year in her classroom (but he would still be a first grader).

On Thursday, she called me.  She wanted to inform me before I saw it through other means that she would be Music Man's teacher again this year.  When I first heard this, I was THRILLED.  This is a teacher that he knows and likes.  He understands what she expects from him and he already knows what he can get away with and when she will put her foot down (for the record, he can't get away with much of ANYTHING).  Her reputation is untouchable, and the reputation is well earned.  We saw a great deal of growth in him all year long and, despite still having many issues that we need to address, we felt he had a very successful year last year.  And they did this combined class just last year, so I knew that the teachers and staff were comfortable handling the transitions that are necessary (as the first graders are more integrated with the general education students than the kindergarteners).

But the more I think about it, the more I am concerned.  I'm still 10000% thrilled that she's his teacher, but I wonder about the thought process that made her keep him in her classroom.  He is very bright and more than satisfies the criteria to be a first grader.  That isn't in question.  But he is very big for his age (not just tall) and he will definitely stick out in this classroom of younger students.  Does he care?  Absolutely NOT.  He doesn't notice anything that has any social context to it.  From a social standpoint, he's probably closer to a 3 year old than a 6 year old.  He is very much an isolationist (if you can call a child by that description) and really has no desire to have friends or peer interactions.  He is a bit of a challenge with his behaviors and his phobias and the kindergarteners in the classroom may be better choices for his peers than the first graders that were in his class last year.

Once again, I need to learn to put my own perception of things to the side and try to see things from my child's point of view.  He will still do his thing and will be quite successful I have no doubt.  And 2 years with this teacher is a prize that I cherish.  I think that, once I see how things work in practice, I'll be more and more comfortable with this arrangement.

Is There EVER a "Right" Answer?

You see, we have a problem (what else is new?). Rachel's IEP Meeting was October 17. At that time, it was decided that she should be included in a typical pre-K class in her school to allow her to work on her social skills with her neurotypical peers. This would help her learn how to interact with others and would hopefully allow us to see her enter a typical kindergarten classroom setting at best, or at least allow her to be placed in "The Learning Center", one of the special education options for our public school system.

In our opinion, social skill development is the biggest shortcoming of the program she is currently enrolled; it is a program that is 1-to-1, highly-intensive ABA. It is a language and behavior based program. She rarely spends any time with other children with any realistic expectations of forming friendships. All of her "relationships" are with her teachers. So, by including her in the pre-K class, she would still get the 1-on-1 that the program is designed for part of the day and still be able to develop social skills. She was to start at 15 minutes/day and work her way up to the full afternoon.

It has been 6 months. She is still only attending this class for 15 minutes/day. It's not because of the school's refusal to incorporate the plan. It's because Rachel has been unwilling to cooperate. She cannot sit still and refuses to follow instructions. They have tried several different things, and they still have been unable to increase her time in this classroom. The question is "Why?"

I received an email from her teacher that we need to consider her placement. That can be read in a couple of different ways. Are they thinking that we need to change her overall placement for next year? Do they think we should modify her existing IEP? Or are they just looking for suggestions from me as to how to make this inclusion happen more successfully? This has led to me scheduling an observation visit on Wednesday afternoon, specifically to see her inclusion time with the pre-K class.

I was thinking that they may possibly be thinking putting her in a combination of programs. I mentioned in an earlier post that one of the family of preschool programs offered by our schools is called PEP. There are several different iterations of "PEP". The schools where these programs are located, often have more than one of these programs. There are children who cross between different PEP programs (I know of one who spends part of their day in PEP-INC and another part in PEP-Classic). However, neither the locations that I know of which has CAPP (where Rachel is currently) has any of the PEP programs. I was wondering if a good solution would be to combine the two programs (CAPP and PEP-INC) in the way they are currently trying to combine CAPP with the typical pre-K (perhaps she's not ready for that yet), but this is likely not a feasible option. I know that the schools are required to implement the IEP as it is written. I also know that they will not write an IEP in such a way that the resources don't exist to implement it correctly.

So, what's the right thing for us to do? When we were approaching her meeting in October, I was worried about the possibility of her being removed from the CAPP program. And I believe I was right at that time. And I'm still concerned about this. But today, May 10, is this actually the best thing for her right now? Would she be better off switching to PEP-INC? What (if anything) would we be sacrificing considering how well she learns via the ABA model?

Stay tuned.....right now, I'm not sure what that solution is going to be. Or, perhaps I'm reading too much into this meeting....