6 Days....

.....Yup.....in 6 days school will begin again.

This isn't the countdown of a Mom who can't wait....well, it's not EXACTLY that.....it's partially that......but it's the countdown of a Mom who is terrified about what's coming.

Yes, I know that it's difficult for any parent to send their children off for the first day of kindergarten.  But with Big Brother, it really wasn't difficult at all.  It was, in fact, easy.  He was ready for it and so was I.  And I knew it (on both counts).  But this time, I don't know if it's because of their Autism diagnosis or if it's because they are my "babies", but I'm NOT ready for them to go off to kindergarten...exactly.....

We are in that home stretch right now.  We are finishing up the homework assignments and I'm getting ready to attend Back to School Night on Thursday evening to familiarize myself with what's coming.  And I'm going to bring them to school on Friday afternoon so they can all meet their teachers and really get a feel for the classrooms and the school as a whole.  I am working with teaching Ballerina what will be expected for her, and we are working on a specific issue that she has picked up (she's decided that tackling is fun) so that she won't demonstrate this new game to her classmates.

And we are doing something else today......Music Man has a play-date with a future classmate (who we know from Ballerina's preschool experiences).  This other child's mother and I are both hoping that, if they have a familiar face in the classroom, it will help make the transition just a bit easier.

We are doing everything we can to be sure they're ready for what's coming.  I have fewer concerns about Music Man as he will be in a more protected environment which makes me feel more comfortable.  But this is shaping up to be a VERY interesting week!

It's Getting Closer

Last week, ESY ended for both Ballerina and Music Man -- because of the storms, Music Man continued through last Wednesday.  Overall, it was a good transition for us.  In the morning, I would tell them that it was time for "school camp" and they would get ready.  And now that it's done, it's "No More School Camp", and they're fine.

Who would've thought?

Overall, it seemed to have been a good experience for both of them this summer.  Music Man had a chance to say good bye to his teachers and friends.  He's still young enough that I don't think he sees this as a real goodbye, but who knows.  He got to do it in a more relaxed atmosphere then during the school year and I think he was happy both to see it start and to see it end.

Ballerina had a different experience this summer.  Her ESY program was designed to give these kids a chance to learn what would be expected from them when they start kindergarten later this month.  It was taught by a general-education kindergarten teacher (coincidentally, the one who had been working with Ballerina since February) and she treated them just like she would treat an incoming kindergarten class, with those same expectations.  In our phone conference, the teacher explained that these kids are all preparing to enter a general education setting or an Early Learning Center setting (similar to the class Music Man will be starting) so these expectations will be set for them during the year as well.  Ballerina responded well and didn't have too many behavior outbursts.  The teacher also explained to me that she really does seem to take her cues from the other kids in the class.....if they are having a bad day, chances are, she is having one too.  While this piece of information doesn't really surprise me, it is something that I hadn't thought of, and I will have to remember to pass this information along to her kindergarten teacher once I learn who she is.

Right now, that's probably the biggest outstanding question for starting kindergarten -- who will Ballerina's teacher be?  I sent a note to the principal asking if this information was now available (her CAPP teacher from last year has offered to give her a social story and this information would be EXTREMELY helpful), but he informed me that the classes won't be finalized until August 13.  So, we're going to have to wait another week to get this last piece of information.  Then we will be all set for the final preparation of entry into kindergarten!

But, in the meantime, there are other skills kids have when they enter kindergarten.  They know how to play, and to play appropriately.  This is something that we have always had issues with for Ballerina and Music Man.  But over the weekend, this happened......



So, now it appears they have found this skill.  After all, they have a ready-made playmate right beside them.....now we just have to encourage them to continue this new behavior!

Thinking.....Thinking.....

WOW!!! I haven't written anything here for a week! It's not that nothing has been happening -- it's just that it's been pretty quiet around here.

We just learned when we are going to make a "final decision" on Ballerina's kindergarten placement (late May). Last month, we discussed our options and decided to hold off making a decision until the end of the school year to see how she does as her teachers institute a couple of changes in the way they address her. She has started attending the kindergarten in her school for an hour or so each morning. While she is there, she is expected to behave like the other students in the classroom. She is expected to listen and to raise her hand when she wants to talk. And when she talks, she is expected to answer the specific questions. They are placing more demands on her to see how she handles the load. And they have instituted a "token" system -- when she behaves, she earns tokens. And then, at the end of the day, she can trade in her tokens for computer time, dress-up time, and time in front of the mirror.

So far, in general, we're seeing quite a bit of success. She has had a bad day or two, but in general, she's taken to the change in routine and thrived. And everyone is entitled to a bad day from time to time. And I'm thrilled that this has been so successful.

But I'm still worried about what's going to happen next year. I almost wish this wasn't quite as successful....if it doesn't work, they won't try to put her in a typical kindergarten classroom but into the Early Learning Center and then we can work on this next year. With this success, it's more likely that they will feel that our best option will be a mainstream classroom. And I have my doubts. I think she will be successful on most days. But what about when she has a bad day? Now they can remove her from the kindergarten classroom and prepare to start fresh the next day. But if she's not in the Early Learning Center, I'm not sure what they can do about it because they won't have anywhere to send her.

I know how this sounds. But it's accurate....I want her to have the learning center as a safety net. If she is placed there, she can use the resources available in that room to help her when things start to fall apart. We can use them for one year to help her make this transition. The CAPP program is one-on-one. It is considered one of the more intensive programs, and this is why I was told last year that she wouldn't be ready to enter a diploma bound program when she left preschool (see the article I wrote on SPD Blogger Network). I still would like to see her have a chance to acclimate to the school and then take the time to integrate into the typical classroom, which means placing her in the Early Learning Center. I want to see her thrive. And I believe the best way to make that happen is to give her one more year in a special education classroom.

Only one question remains.......who in that room is going to agree with me at the end of the school year.

Interim Reports

When I was in high school, I used to dread the receipt of report cards. Sometimes it was because I was embarrassed or ashamed of my grades. Other times I just didn't want anyone else to know what was happening at school. Perhaps I was nervous about meeting expectations. It was long long ago. But now I'm the parent who watches and listens to see how HER kids are doing in school. But they still make me nervous.

Yesterday, I had previously arranged for a phone conference with Rachel's teacher to discuss her progress during Extended School Year (ESY). The last few notes from her teacher have been worrisome so I was a bit concerned going into the meeting. What was going on with her? We haven't be able to do anything about her new ADHD diagnosis as we are still waiting on meeting with the doctor again. She's been "sad". Huh?

And then there's Simon. I received a note last week that his teacher would be calling me to discuss his progress during the summer. There has been minimal communication during ESY between me and his teacher -- when I pick them both up at camp, I ask how his day went and I get a 1-or-2-word answer.

Well, the phone rings yesterday morning at 8:45. I'm not expecting Rachel's teacher to call until 10:15. When I look at the phone, it's MPAC (Simon's school). No time to prepare.....what has he been up to? Has it been a good summer? Or is he just getting by? Deep breath, and pick up the phone....."Hello?" And then we get started.

His teacher is telling me about his ESY goals and how he has progressed positively on all of them. He's not only maintained, but has continued to make significant improvements, including being able to sit and perform tasks for upwards of 10 minutes with minimal prompting. So, time for me to ask my 2 big questions.

Easy one first.....do you think he's getting close to ready for "potty training"? I've been seeing some signs lately, but because of the many changes that were pending (school ending, ESY, travel in August), I haven't wanted to touch on this yet. She felt that he is definitely ready to begin potty training. So, once he gets settled into the next school year, we'll start working on that. We suspect he will be much more difficult to train than his sister. But time will tell.

Now, the big question.....this is a teacher who first met Simon on July 5, but she is an MPAC teacher and is familiar with MCPS (Montgomery County Public School) programs.....with the added year of pre-K that he is about to start, will he be ready for "The Learning Center" for kindergarten, or will he need a more intense program (with work in the appropriate areas)? Her feeling is that he's not quite ready for it yet, but we should definitely consider this as his track and work on making sure his IEP goals for the school year prepare him for this learning environment. SUCCESS!!!!!!!!

So, one down, one to go....

At 10:15, the phone rings again. This time it's Rachel's teacher for our previously planned conference. Her teacher begins to explain to me what she means by her feeling that "Rachel is simply 'sad'". She seems to have a connection with another student in the class (and bus), similar to her connection with Simon. She really cares about his feelings and wants him to be happy. Unfortunately, this other student is often sad and cries often. On the days that this boy has been absent, she's been very happy. But when he is present, she is often subdued. I love that she shows the empathy, but hate that it expresses itself in this way. This is something we need to seriously work on. But, on the plus side, when she is subdued like this, her ability to focus increases. She seems to lose the wiggling and the jumping tendencies. I have to be sure to bring this up with the doctor when we do meet next week to be sure that we don't medicate her to that extreme -- I want her to be a happy little girl, not on the verge of tears all the time, even if it does mean she's a bit more hyper.

On another note, she has been able to work in small groups this summer, something that she really hasn't been able to do up to this point. This is a crucial skill for kindergarten. And, considering we have another year, if we can get her focus under control, who knows what we're going to see when she enters kindergarten in the 2012-13 school year.

So, two parent/teacher conferences done by 10:45am yesterday. Two positive reports. And we know what we need to do for both of them as we prepare to begin another year of preschool. If we can work out some of these issues, I will realize my wish of having all 3 of my children attending the same school in a year. That thought makes so much of this worth while.

Hope Never Fails (or listens)

About a month ago, I attended a meeting between parents of children on the spectrum and our local school district. It was hosted by a parent-run independent organization whose mission is "To promote, support, and advocate for the education of diploma-bound students on the autism spectrum in grades K–12."(1). Having 2 very intelligent children on the spectrum, I thought it would be a good organization to look into. It would allow me to anticipate potential issues and start learning how to address potential pitfalls. Sounds good, right?

I served as "note-taker" for the preschool forum. It was an opportunity for me to listen in to learn how these children are transitioned from the various preschool programs into kindergarten. The representatives from the school system talked primarily about the preschool programs that have been designated as "PEP", which (from what I understand) is where the majority of students on the spectrum who would be considered "diploma bound" begin their school career. Neither Rachel nor Simon are in "PEP". So, after the session was over, I had a brief conversation to address the potential transition for my kids. This conversation did not happen between me and one of the representatives from the school system, but with the "moderator" of this breakout session, who happened to be an officer with this organization. In addition to being a part of this advocacy group, she is also a social worker for our school's Early Intervention Services group (but a different office than we had worked with) and has a daughter on the spectrum who is diploma bound.

Given this information, I was looking forward to the advice she would have for me. I told her that I have a daughter in the CAPP Program (Collaborative Autism Preschool Program) and, starting during her last IEP meeting in October, have had conversations with her teacher and the representative to the Autism Office about the possibility of her entering a mainstream kindergarten classroom when she is ready for kindergarten in the 2012-2013 school year. CAPP is the most intensive program offered by our local schools. It's a highly-intensive 1-on-1 ABA-based learning system. Many who enter the program are non-verbal. They all have significant issues regarding language, behavior, and impulse-control, as well as many other areas. Rachel has THRIVED in this environment. We had learned while we were still working with Early Intervention Services (Infants and Toddlers) that she responds to the learning system, ABA. I don't think this individual heard anything I said after mentioning Rachel was in CAPP. Or, if she did, she chose not to listen.

She basically told me that my daughter would not be able to function in a mainstream kindergarten classroom. She went as far as to say that she will likely NOT be diploma bound. A child requiring that level of intensity of services at the preschool level will not be able to function in a classroom setting.

HOW DARE SHE!!!!!!

This is someone who advises other families coping with autism and other developmental disabilities. Part of her job is to provide encouragement to the families she serves. NOT to shoot down their dreams for their children. She has never met Rachel. She doesn't know how far Rachel has come. She doesn't know how smart my daughter is. She doesn't have any means of knowing anything about her or her situation. She doesn't know that we actually had a discussion to determine if her placement should be changed to put her in a less intensive environment. She doesn't know that Rachel spends part of every day in a typical pre-K classroom to learn how to interact with her neurotypical peers. All she knows is that Rachel is in the CAPP program.

I don't know if Rachel will receive her high school diploma and go on to college. I don't know if Simon will do the same. But I do know that I will not limit her based on her diagnosis. Other children with autism function in classroom settings and continue on to receive higher education beyond high school. And as a social worker working with this population as well as a mother to a child on the spectrum, she of all people should know this. I will not allow this (in my not-so-objective opinion) unqualified and prejudiced uninformed individual to limit my children's potential.


Footnote:
(1) This mission statement is literally copied/pasted from the website of this organization. Because of nature of this post, I have chosen to not provide the specific website detailing the name of the organization. However, these words are not my work and should be credited to this parenting group.

Time for a reality check

This morning, I spent a brief time talking with the kindergarten teacher in the special education program in our local home school. The purpose of this meeting was to sit down with her and ask what was needed for children to be considered ready to enter this program. This is the highest level of special education at this level prior to mainstreaming as I understand the system to work. And I have the advantage of one of the locations being in my own home school (translation, I could potentially have all 3 of my children in the same school).

When I went into this meeting, I was hoping (and reaching) that Rachel would be ready for a mainstream classroom setting when she entered kindergarten and I would work with Simon to get him ready for this program. However, as is often the case when talking about Rachel, it became clear to me the longer I spoke with the teacher that I may be expecting too much from her.

This teacher pointed out some of the key differences between her classroom and the typical classrooms. They are working on the same curriculum as the neurotypical classrooms. However, they don't have "centers" because these children typically not capable of working independently. Circle time, as a consequence is much longer. But it doesn't start that way -- they work up to it. She also works with the kids more on comprehension skills rather than on simple reading, and works with them to understand how to read pictures and faces, as many autistic individuals don't naturally develop these skills. She also really pushes some basic life skills on a daily basis, like counting money and the growing the ability to describe things (for example, this is a square because it has 4 sides that are all the same). Many of these kids can see these things, but can't do anything with them. They can see a square, and they know it's a square, but they can't explain WHY it's a square. By teaching them to think like that, it will help them in the later grades. Memorization isn't enough for long-term learning and this classroom works on giving these children these skills.

She also explained that she has had students who have spent some time in the mainstream classrooms if they are able to go in there independently. There are no paras in the classrooms with autistic students to help them through the day and help to keep them on point. If they need that level of support, they cannot be in the mainstream classrooms. She has sent children into the other classrooms for writing workshops most consistently. They also share specials time (gym, art, music, media, computer lab) time with their neurotypical peers as well as lunch and recess. So, they aren't completely isolated.

But because the curriculum is the same, there is no fear that these children are falling further behind long-term. Perhaps that will be a good thing for Rachel. We know it would be a good thing for Simon.

I am going to continue to strive to prepare Rachel for the possibility of mainstreaming and for the possibility of Simon entering this classroom. However, the reality is I may be enrolling them both in this classroom or sending Simon to another program. I understand that. And I am prepared for that possibility. But I have to be prepared for the real likelihood that Rachel may not be ready. I probably should start planning for the desired result of them both being placed in this special education classroom. At least then, they'll be together.