The Never Ending Career Search

I know there's a lot about the kids that I need to post about, but for right now, I want to write a "ME" post.....

You see, for the last couple of days, whenever I have some time alone (usually in the car), I have decided what I want to do with my self-proclaimed title of "Parent Advocate".  I believe I've known this for a while....I just needed to tailor it down to what I believe are my strengths.

I want to work with parents.  Specifically, parents who are going through the process of a child being diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) or parents with children recently diagnosed with an ASD.  I love the kids.....don't get me wrong......but I don't know how much I personally can do to help them compared with the great teachers and specialists that are out there.  But I can offer something to the parents.  I can listen, and I can understand.  I can explain it, and not as a doctor trying to explain these things to a parent feeling lost, but as a parent who has been through this all.  I am very good at researching information and I can find details for people to help them understand what their lives are about to become and help them figure out ways that they can help their children.

I kind of do this now.  I run the Facebook page We Care About Someone With Autism and I regularly get questions like this.  Sometime they stay on the public forum, other times, we exchange emails or Private Messages and I think I have really helped quite a few people.

About a year ago, I thought of starting up a support group for local parents that would meet during the school day.  But I thought about it and realized that I have no clue not only how to start up such a thing but that I really don't know if people would want to come to something like that.  I think that it would benefit many, but it's hard to sit around a table and discuss things like this with strangers.  And it's even harder when the person sitting at the head of the table has no appropriate credentials to her name other than a parent.  And I would hate to ask people to pay for such a service, even though I would have to in order to pay for premises and make a little money on the side, which to be honest, wouldn't hurt my family.  So, this isn't really the right direction for me to look.

I have now laid out (in my head) a perfect job for me.  I even think I know the organization that would want to hire me.

Now I just need to figure out how to make myself qualified for such a position.

Today Was The Day

For about 2 years, I have been trying to get Rachel in a dance class. I have tried in her gym (which offers dance). I tried in several other private studios. I tried at performing arts centers. But I have had no luck. I tried calling these studios. No one would call me back. I tried to figure out ways to include her in what I was sure would be her favorite activity. But everything I tried didn't work. That is until about a month ago, when I asked my neighbor (who happens to be a dance instructor) for her recommendation.

At the time, I didn't realize that she was just opening a dance studio. And she didn't realize that I had been trying to do this for this long. She didn't intend to do this, but the day or two before that conversation, she had hired a dance teacher who had experience working with special needs children. That afternoon, we hatched a plan. And today, it became a reality.



A Special Needs dance class at The Studio of Dance is now a reality. Currently there are only two students enrolled, and we are all working to spread the word. But today, Rachel got up early this morning and dressed in her leotard with the ballerina skirt and she went to a dance class that was designed with her in mind. This class will teach her ballet and tap. And she may or may not excel. But she will have fun. And she will learn to do things correctly so that she doesn't hurt herself. But she can be the "Ballerina". She can embrace this strong desire she has had for as long as I can remember to DANCE and develop a true appreciation for the art form.

Movement comes naturally to Rachel. She loves gymnastics. She loves to stand on her head. She loves to move her arms. She loves to glide across the floor. She loves to move to the music.

I was so worried about this class. I was worried that after fighting so hard to find something for her she wouldn't like it. That she would be so rebellious that there was nothing they could do to help her. She was perfectly fine going into the studio and playing, running around and just having fun. But when the class started, these fears were sort of realized -- she was crying and really fighting. She opened the door and ran out of the studio. I brought her back into the studio and sat on the floor near the door. I had my camera (that was muted of course) and watched her for 5 minutes. I took a few pictures. I watched her teacher working with the two girls. I saw her start to relax. I saw her posing for the mirror. I saw her starting to have fun. And after a few minutes, I left her to the care of the dance instructor and slyly disappeared from the studio.



When we got home, she continued to dance for the rest of the day. She was moving her arms with grace and beauty. She was watching her skirt flow behind her as she ran around. She proved to me that she is definitely my ballerina.

I did good. And so did The Studio Of Dance. Thanks to them for giving my perfect daughter, who happens to have autism and ADHD, a chance to do what all little girls should have the opportunity to try. A chance to DANCE!!!!!!!!

Making Dreams Come True

Yup....we're less than a week away from Rachel starting her Dance Lessons at The Studio of Dance. We are all so excited. I'm excited FOR her. And I'm patting myself on the back asking our neighbor seeking a recommendation for a dance class for her which is where this started. We don't know, like everything else, how this is going to go. But based on her apparent interest, I think she is going to LOVE this. I think that she's going to be entranced with the mirror and the barre. I think she's going to love making noises with her feet wearing the taps on her shoes. I think she's going to give this teacher a run for her money. But I also think she'll learn quite a bit.

Score one victory for Mommy!!!!!

I'm calling this my first success in my role as a Parent Advocate. Yup. I spoke with our local office of the Autism Society (MCASA) and asked if they had a problem with me calling myself a "Parent Advocate" since I really have no academic training -- just on the job experience with regards to my own children. They asked what I had been doing in that role and I described my Facebook page and this blog. I also told this individual about my responses on other Facebook pages, Circle of Moms and other websites. I also told him that if anyone asked me a question, no matter where, I would do my best to help them find an answer or give them an uplifting word. If I didn't have that, I listen and try to help provide a different perspective so that the person I was speaking to could perhaps think of things from that point of view. I don't know how many people that has helped, but I do try.

And he told me that, as long as I made it VERY clear if someone was to ask for my "professional advice" that I have ZERO legal training (which is implied with the term "Advocate"), I could call myself a "Parent Advocate". I do know where to look for information, but I cannot claim to have this knowledge. I am a parent of two autistic individuals. I advocate for them. I learn what I can to be sure to give them the highest likelihood of success in school and beyond. And I do my best. He told me that he would put my name and contact information on the list of parents who are willing to talk to those who just learn of an autism diagnosis reaching out for help and advice. That, alone, is something I consider an honor. He also told me about ways I can get more involved in their organization, things I plan for myself for the next several years. Unfortunately, right now that's not an option because all of the meetings are very inconvenient for our schedules, but they are not likely to change and our schedules will likely change as my children grow and change. By the time they are all school age, I may find myself more available for a more involved position within MCASA.

This summer, Kevin heard me talking to a stranger in a park near my in-laws' house who was coping with a recent autism diagnosis in her son. I was referring this person to a couple of Facebook pages (including my own) to give them a place to go to ask questions or get information. I also mentioned this blog. I don't know if this person ever took me up on my suggestions, but I made it available. He suggested that if I had business cards, it would make the transfer of this information so much easier. So, when we returned visiting family this summer, I went to VistaPrint to learn about creating business cards. I started playing around with the templates that were available for free to cheap cards. And I found a design that I really liked. It has 3 owls (like my 3 kiddos) sitting on a branch. And I added the text but decided I needed a title. That's when I contacted MCASA and got their permission to use this title.

These business cards are due to arrive in the mail today. I am very excited to see them on paper -- I've been seeing the computer image for a few weeks now. So, the career that I began to consider for myself nearly a year ago is starting to come true. I don't know how lucrative it will be, but that's not really the point. It's about helping people get through these first few years (this will expand as I learn more, I'm sure). It's about pushing for changes and education in the general population. It's about making a better world for my children and others who share their diagnosis and their family of diagnosis. It's about making my mark on the world for my children.

I'm feeling pretty good about myself right about now.