Tuesday, March 15, 2011

A really warped perspective

Just a quick word tonight. I was having coffee with a friend this morning and we were talking about the twins. I mentioned to her that they've really started fighting lately, specifically over the computer. And I'm happy about it. And she basically gave me a "High-5".

What is wrong with this picture? As parents of multiple children (not necessarily multiples), we all dread sibling rivalry. We all want our children to get along and hate it when they fight. So, why do I rejoice in these things? I was warned both when I was pregnant with the twins and when they were very young by other MoMs (Moms of Multiples) how terrible fighting between twins can be. They are truly each other's best friends and worst enemies. And since they are so intimately familiar with each other, they know just how to strike to deal the worst damage. But we hadn't seen any of that. And they're 4 years old. Suddenly, we are seeing that.

So why am I so happy about this? Very easy. IT'S NORMAL BEHAVIOR!!!!! And yes, I'm using the "N" word here. I love to see the interactions between these two, positive AND negative. I love to watch the relationship grow in the many ways that it does on a regular basis. And now that Simon has figured out how to use the mouse and control what the computer is doing, he wants to play as much as his sister.

We are working on turn-taking. We are working on getting them to NOT throw each other off the chair (which is a common practice by Simon right now). We are working on them sharing computer time when they want to play the same things. We're working on Simon NOT boxing Rachel away from the mouse and the keyboard. We're working on Simon not pulling Rachel's hair to get closer to the computer and use his advantage. We're working on Rachel not sneaking her way onto the computer when it's Simon's turn. But we're not there yet. And thus far we have seen little to no progress. But we know it will come with perseverance.

Right now, I'm reveling in the fact that my children exhibit behavior that isn't defined by autism, but behavior that is a consequence of being a sibling (and a twin), and is considered perfectly normal and predictable. We just need to shape it a bit better.

1 comment:

  1. We get excited when the boys do normal things too. Most of the time they don't even acknowledge each other, so book stealing and fighting over toys is always welcomed.