And the meeting is looming ahead of us -- only about 2.5 weeks left before we sit in a room with a committee and try to make decisions for these two children that will affect them until they begin kindergarten. All right -- it's not quite true. Decisions can be changed and as we see how they respond it'll be a bit more fluid than I'm making sound right about now. Additionally, there will be at least 2 more meetings before we begin kindergarten.
I'm preparing myself that the most important thing is for me to be "satisfied" with the results of the meeting. I don't think I'll be able to walk out of the meeting "happy". The problem is that there are 2 things that I want to see happen and, as of right now, they can't both happen at the same time.
What's most important is that we find programs that are best for each of the twins. Right now we have an idea of what that is. I'll be visiting the final program on Tuesday and bringing Simon in to visit one of the probable preschools on Monday to see how he does. Both of those visits will give us a lot of information. I'm also meeting with someone from MCITP at the end of the week to try and organize my thoughts once I've had a little bit of time to digest the new information. I don't know if my opinions will change following these 2 visits as to what is best for Rachel and what is best for Simon, but I know that's a possibility. The good news is both Kevin and I are on the same page about everything (as of right now).
On the other hand, for the last few weeks, we've been seeing them really enjoy being together (to the point where they've been falling asleep in the same bed). This is something I've wanted to see since I was 6 weeks pregnant and first learned we were going to have twins. This includes moments of seeing them sharing a crib in the hospital just after birth. I finally got that picture when they were 7 days old. But I've wanted to continue to see the growth of that relationship, and now I'm finally starting to see that relationship emerge. Separating them right now just feels like such the wrong thing to do. I know that this is only for a portion of the day, but it's a LARGE portion of the day. They'll be in school for upwards of 6 hrs/day plus transportation time. If losing the nap helps to eliminate some of the sleep issues we've been seeing for the last several months, they'll be sleeping for 10-12 hrs/day. That leaves approximately 5 hours (on Monday-Friday) of "together time". Is that going to be enough?
Again, I know that what's most important is finding the appropriate program for each of them, and if it means separate programs, then that's what we'll do. If it comes down to putting them in a single program just to make me happy, that's a bad result to this meeting. If they are separated, as of right now, I'd call that a "satisfactory" result and over time, when I can get over this "dream" of mine to keep them together through at least kindergarten, I can learn to be "happy".
Right now, I just don't know.
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