This really isn't an autism thing -- it's just a part of who my kids are. I suspect that, even if "autism" wasn't a part of our lives, I would still see these types of things. Maybe I'd be a little less patient about it. Or maybe I'd be more amused. I would probably expect more understanding, as I do expect Daniel to "listen" and not destroy the world around him.
But this is yet ANOTHER example of how Rachel and Simon are total opposites, except for when they are exactly the same. Rachel thrives on "ORDER". She likes to put things "away" (specifically, she likes to "put in", which is one of her first mastered Lovaas ABA tasks). Simon, on the other hand, thrives on "CHAOS". The more something is messed up, broken, out of sync, out of order, upside down, the better. He constantly overturns furniture. He likes to take the cushions off the couch. His new favorite thing is to dump the toy chest in the playroom upside down so the hundreds (which can feel like thousands) of Legos scatter. He likes to turn the indoor-outdoor slide upside down. He ripped the door out of the doorframe. He just likes things to NOT lie as they are designed to do so.
We've found this both comforting and frustrating. In some weird ways, it's kind of funny -- it's almost like his way of interacting with others, specifically, his older brother. He likes to destroy Daniel's block towers and projects, and as Daniel is discovering the power of legos, this is becoming a real problem. He likes to disorganize the "order" that someone else is trying to create around him. He always laughs at the disorder her creates, especially if he gets the negative reaction from someone. Is this just his way of controlling those around him? He actually seeks this out -- he will run into a room and overturn something, then "hide" (aka, run away from the scene of the crime, but make sure he can watch the reactions of others).
In order to minimize the effect of this, I've removed so many of the toys from their play area. However, I have to leave some things for them to play with. And Simon continues to find things that he can destroy, so it's almost pointless. I'm trying to the basement organized. It's just a (seemingly) impossible task when, every day, chaos reigns. Or, should I say, Simon.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Sleep Training -- Again......
How does one teach a child with minimal verbal skills that they need to stay in their room when they wake up in the middle of the night? That's the question we've been asking ourselves and living with for the last month or so.
Yes, as I think I've mentioned before, Simon has figured out how to maneuver around the final obstacle (pressure-mounted gate) that keeps him and his sister in their bedroom for the night and come wandering into our room at a whim. Well, TECHNICALLY, "maneuver" may be the right word -- he simply pulls the gate down to the ground, runs into our bedroom and jumps on my side of the bed, climbs over me, smiles and says "Bed!". This is something that we've been dreading for quite some time. Most days, on a good morning, he just simply wakes up earlier than the rest of us (on the order of 5am). However, he will often wake up closer to 2am and be fully awake.
When this started, I would bring Simon back into his room and take that giant step backwards of staying in there until he fell asleep, then trying to quietly sneak out. While Kevin was on his business trip last month, I pretty much just put up with it. I let him fall back to sleep in my bed because I (1) didn't have the energy to deal with it and (2) (at the end of the week) was dealing with his sick brother and needed to be available if he called to me during the night (which happened several times). However, after Kevin returned, we both agreed that something had to be done.
We went back to the no tolerance policy. He would come into our bedroom and I would bring him back to his room, put him back in bed and leave. He didn't necessarily know this, but I would stay just out of sight but still near his bedroom door and, when he started to try to leave his room again, I'd send him back to bed. Of course, this led to a lot of crying his part and strong feelings of guilt and neglect on my part, but I felt I was doing the right thing. Eventually, I was usually able to get back to bed, even if I wasn't able to fall back to sleep.
Fortunately, this usually only took one (or two) trips per night, when they occurred. However, that only seems to work when he's waking up at 1 or 2 in the morning. If he wakes up after 4:30 or 5am, he seems to feel that he no longer has to stay in his room and he can wander through the house (or at least upstairs). This morning, after he left his room 4 times, Kevin decided to get up and get ready for the day and I just gave up.
At what point is it right to just give in and recognize that he's not going back to sleep? Should he still stay in his room if it's more likely that he's going to wake his sister than go back to sleep? Is it really causing any harm for him to be up and in my bed? I'm just not sure anymore.
But at least there are some nights where I'm allowed to get some sleep. They aren't frequent enough, but I am getting that periodic break. This was something that I couldn't say this time last year. I suppose I should be grateful for that.
Yes, as I think I've mentioned before, Simon has figured out how to maneuver around the final obstacle (pressure-mounted gate) that keeps him and his sister in their bedroom for the night and come wandering into our room at a whim. Well, TECHNICALLY, "maneuver" may be the right word -- he simply pulls the gate down to the ground, runs into our bedroom and jumps on my side of the bed, climbs over me, smiles and says "Bed!". This is something that we've been dreading for quite some time. Most days, on a good morning, he just simply wakes up earlier than the rest of us (on the order of 5am). However, he will often wake up closer to 2am and be fully awake.
When this started, I would bring Simon back into his room and take that giant step backwards of staying in there until he fell asleep, then trying to quietly sneak out. While Kevin was on his business trip last month, I pretty much just put up with it. I let him fall back to sleep in my bed because I (1) didn't have the energy to deal with it and (2) (at the end of the week) was dealing with his sick brother and needed to be available if he called to me during the night (which happened several times). However, after Kevin returned, we both agreed that something had to be done.
We went back to the no tolerance policy. He would come into our bedroom and I would bring him back to his room, put him back in bed and leave. He didn't necessarily know this, but I would stay just out of sight but still near his bedroom door and, when he started to try to leave his room again, I'd send him back to bed. Of course, this led to a lot of crying his part and strong feelings of guilt and neglect on my part, but I felt I was doing the right thing. Eventually, I was usually able to get back to bed, even if I wasn't able to fall back to sleep.
Fortunately, this usually only took one (or two) trips per night, when they occurred. However, that only seems to work when he's waking up at 1 or 2 in the morning. If he wakes up after 4:30 or 5am, he seems to feel that he no longer has to stay in his room and he can wander through the house (or at least upstairs). This morning, after he left his room 4 times, Kevin decided to get up and get ready for the day and I just gave up.
At what point is it right to just give in and recognize that he's not going back to sleep? Should he still stay in his room if it's more likely that he's going to wake his sister than go back to sleep? Is it really causing any harm for him to be up and in my bed? I'm just not sure anymore.
But at least there are some nights where I'm allowed to get some sleep. They aren't frequent enough, but I am getting that periodic break. This was something that I couldn't say this time last year. I suppose I should be grateful for that.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
At least I'm not alone
I went to visit Rachel's class today. There were a few things I was hoping to glean from this visit. First, I wanted to check up on her and see how well she was doing (reports back are always so positive). I wanted to see the differences between how she behaves and works at school versus at home. And, most important, I wanted to feel out the question of her placement following her scheduled IEP meeting next month.
The visit went really well. She didn't see me there at first and I got to observe her at play working at a bead table (pouring on/into her teacher's hands and into her own). It was a nice sensory exercise -- made sounds and had a different texture. And she looked like she was having a lot of fun. Then she went back to the table to go back to work. Shortly after getting to the table is when she noticed me. She's doing 15-17 tasks between motivational activities, which is MUCH higher than when I visited her last year (at that time they were just increasing it from 3). Her teacher informed me that this number is MUCH higher than the other students in the program. The fact is, they still aren't sure of how high she's ready for. They are continuing to increase it. And, because of that, she's just flying through the programs.
After I was there for a little while, I asked the teacher whether she felt that the committee was going to try to remove her from CAPP and transition her to PEP (probably INC). This was a question I was afraid to ask. She gave me a very quizzical look and asked me for my opinion on the subject. I wholeheartedly told her that I feel she needs to stay where she is -- she's doing great and we shouldn't change that. The only reason I called for the meeting was to update her goals. I swear, I heard a sigh of relief from her -- she agrees with me. And, apparently, so does the person who will be running the meeting (the school's liaison to the Autism Office). I was warned that there will be others present who feel that she SHOULD be transitioned, but at least I know, going into the meeting, I'm NOT alone in my thoughts on this subject. I don't have to convince EVERYONE. I may not have to convince ANYone as the others in the room may do that for me. This makes things much easier as I go into the next few weeks preparing myself for this meeting.
Her teacher did explain the consequences of keeping her in CAPP for another year, because there are trade-offs that need to be considered. CAPP really doesn't work on any academics -- it's pretty much a behavior and language-based program. Also, the program is 1-on-1. When she goes into kindergarten, the lowest ratio she will have is 3-on-1. And if she's ready to be placed in a fully-mainstreamed kindergarten classroom, I know that Daniel's class is 16 kids with only the 1 teacher. She needs to learn how to work with others, and CAPP doesn't focus on that goal.
There are ways around those issues. There were 2 students during the last school year who spent a portion of their days in the mainstream pre-K classroom. Now they're talking about extending that to the Kindergarten classroom. But because of the nature of kindergarten versus pre-K, it is an entirely academic program, with minimal play opportunities. But we can work out a process of mainstreaming her over time. Right now, the goal is to give her more reasonable goals, at her level. If I need to schedule another meeting in 6 months, or even less, to work out a plan, then so be it.
So, suddenly, I'm not so nervous about this upcoming meeting. I'm still a bit apprehensive and am not sure what to expect. But not having to worry about having Rachel's placement changed takes a HUGE weight off my mind and allows me to focus on other things. I still need to think about what I want to include in her goals. I also need to think about what I feel she needs to work on and determine the best way to make things happen. I also need to make sure that I don't OVERthink this, as I have a tendency to do.
But it looks like we're going to remain with CAPP for Rachel -- just as it should be.
The visit went really well. She didn't see me there at first and I got to observe her at play working at a bead table (pouring on/into her teacher's hands and into her own). It was a nice sensory exercise -- made sounds and had a different texture. And she looked like she was having a lot of fun. Then she went back to the table to go back to work. Shortly after getting to the table is when she noticed me. She's doing 15-17 tasks between motivational activities, which is MUCH higher than when I visited her last year (at that time they were just increasing it from 3). Her teacher informed me that this number is MUCH higher than the other students in the program. The fact is, they still aren't sure of how high she's ready for. They are continuing to increase it. And, because of that, she's just flying through the programs.
After I was there for a little while, I asked the teacher whether she felt that the committee was going to try to remove her from CAPP and transition her to PEP (probably INC). This was a question I was afraid to ask. She gave me a very quizzical look and asked me for my opinion on the subject. I wholeheartedly told her that I feel she needs to stay where she is -- she's doing great and we shouldn't change that. The only reason I called for the meeting was to update her goals. I swear, I heard a sigh of relief from her -- she agrees with me. And, apparently, so does the person who will be running the meeting (the school's liaison to the Autism Office). I was warned that there will be others present who feel that she SHOULD be transitioned, but at least I know, going into the meeting, I'm NOT alone in my thoughts on this subject. I don't have to convince EVERYONE. I may not have to convince ANYone as the others in the room may do that for me. This makes things much easier as I go into the next few weeks preparing myself for this meeting.
Her teacher did explain the consequences of keeping her in CAPP for another year, because there are trade-offs that need to be considered. CAPP really doesn't work on any academics -- it's pretty much a behavior and language-based program. Also, the program is 1-on-1. When she goes into kindergarten, the lowest ratio she will have is 3-on-1. And if she's ready to be placed in a fully-mainstreamed kindergarten classroom, I know that Daniel's class is 16 kids with only the 1 teacher. She needs to learn how to work with others, and CAPP doesn't focus on that goal.
There are ways around those issues. There were 2 students during the last school year who spent a portion of their days in the mainstream pre-K classroom. Now they're talking about extending that to the Kindergarten classroom. But because of the nature of kindergarten versus pre-K, it is an entirely academic program, with minimal play opportunities. But we can work out a process of mainstreaming her over time. Right now, the goal is to give her more reasonable goals, at her level. If I need to schedule another meeting in 6 months, or even less, to work out a plan, then so be it.
So, suddenly, I'm not so nervous about this upcoming meeting. I'm still a bit apprehensive and am not sure what to expect. But not having to worry about having Rachel's placement changed takes a HUGE weight off my mind and allows me to focus on other things. I still need to think about what I want to include in her goals. I also need to think about what I feel she needs to work on and determine the best way to make things happen. I also need to make sure that I don't OVERthink this, as I have a tendency to do.
But it looks like we're going to remain with CAPP for Rachel -- just as it should be.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Time For Work
Well, Rachel's next IEP meeting has been scheduled -- we're having it on October 18 in the morning. Now I need to prepare myself for what's coming.
The first thing I need to consider is "What can I expect the IEP Goals to incorporate?" I was surprised at the last meeting to see so many basic "life skills" making up much of the goals, so I'm working under the assumption that we can continue to include those. That being said, we need to work on FOOD.
Rachel is, well, let's be "politically correct" and call her "determined". What that means (in reality) is that she's STUBBORN (just like her mother). She STILL refuses to drink milk from an open cup (but will gladly have milk from a sippy cup, or juice from an open cup, so it's not like she's not capable of handling a regular cup). She REFUSES water in any container. This behavior isn't limited to just drinks. If there is a food she doesn't desire, she won't touch it. At dinner, the only things she will eat are hot dogs, peanut butter on crackers (but she won't eat the cracker), and, well, lately, THAT'S IT!!!!! Sometimes we'll give her some cheese, but normally she has that for lunch. This is unacceptable. She won't eat any meat (other than Nathan's or Hebrew National All-Beef Hot Dogs [yes, my daughter is a hot dog snob and will only have those specific brands]). She won't eat any vegetables. She's even starting to get picky about fruit. We know she's hungry because she will voraciously eat a preferred fruit when it's put in front of her (after we give up on dinner "proper") and she will gladly accept a reward of a goldfish cracker or two (when we shove a piece of chicken or fish into her mouth). On the plus side, she won't spit out undesired food. But the only way she'll eat it is if we shove it in her mouth and wait there until she chews and swallows. This isn't the right way to treat a child. But we've done everything else we can think of. We have to consider her nutritional needs. We need help.
I'm going to visit her at school on Thursday, and while I'm there, I'll stay for lunch. This will do two things for me -- first, it will show me how cooperative she is during school lunch times (since lunch is the one meal she will consistently eat, even for us at home). Second, it will allow me to see what the other kids are doing and what the teachers/paras are doing to ensure they are eating properly, and maybe I'll get to see how FAR they will go. I don't know if it will give me solutions, but it may help me shape the goals I intend to add to her IEP next month.
I would also like to work on her imaginative play and social skills. She will do something during a task if she's asked to, but I don't know if she is actually engaging in "pretend play". It's also hard to judge what she does when she gets home from school. She's so tired after a long day that she is no longer willing to "work". I'd really like to see this skill begin to take shape, even if I don't see much of it at home.
At this point, I'm not so worried about her learning her letters or her numbers. She knows those already and can recite the alphabet both forwards and backwards. She can also spell (approximately) 15 words on her own (but she likes to have each letter repeated back to her). She is constantly asking how to spell words she isn't familiar with the spelling and that number continues to rise. I also suspect she can read many words, but I don't have any proof of this.
I know I've said this before, but I'll say it again. Rachel needs to remain in CAPP. I'm hoping that, since she's been so successful in this program, this will be a non-issue. Why would they change something that is working so well? I'm hoping they don't take the "less is more" philosophy too literally.
I just suppose I need to get my research hat on. I need to learn exactly what is expected at these meetings so I can come in fully prepared and be the best advocate I can. Hopefully, by the time we have Simon's meeting in November, this will be easy since I'll already be a bit more prepared. And, since I hope to include some of these things in his list of goals, I'll have a better idea as to how this should be done.
The first thing I need to consider is "What can I expect the IEP Goals to incorporate?" I was surprised at the last meeting to see so many basic "life skills" making up much of the goals, so I'm working under the assumption that we can continue to include those. That being said, we need to work on FOOD.
Rachel is, well, let's be "politically correct" and call her "determined". What that means (in reality) is that she's STUBBORN (just like her mother). She STILL refuses to drink milk from an open cup (but will gladly have milk from a sippy cup, or juice from an open cup, so it's not like she's not capable of handling a regular cup). She REFUSES water in any container. This behavior isn't limited to just drinks. If there is a food she doesn't desire, she won't touch it. At dinner, the only things she will eat are hot dogs, peanut butter on crackers (but she won't eat the cracker), and, well, lately, THAT'S IT!!!!! Sometimes we'll give her some cheese, but normally she has that for lunch. This is unacceptable. She won't eat any meat (other than Nathan's or Hebrew National All-Beef Hot Dogs [yes, my daughter is a hot dog snob and will only have those specific brands]). She won't eat any vegetables. She's even starting to get picky about fruit. We know she's hungry because she will voraciously eat a preferred fruit when it's put in front of her (after we give up on dinner "proper") and she will gladly accept a reward of a goldfish cracker or two (when we shove a piece of chicken or fish into her mouth). On the plus side, she won't spit out undesired food. But the only way she'll eat it is if we shove it in her mouth and wait there until she chews and swallows. This isn't the right way to treat a child. But we've done everything else we can think of. We have to consider her nutritional needs. We need help.
I'm going to visit her at school on Thursday, and while I'm there, I'll stay for lunch. This will do two things for me -- first, it will show me how cooperative she is during school lunch times (since lunch is the one meal she will consistently eat, even for us at home). Second, it will allow me to see what the other kids are doing and what the teachers/paras are doing to ensure they are eating properly, and maybe I'll get to see how FAR they will go. I don't know if it will give me solutions, but it may help me shape the goals I intend to add to her IEP next month.
I would also like to work on her imaginative play and social skills. She will do something during a task if she's asked to, but I don't know if she is actually engaging in "pretend play". It's also hard to judge what she does when she gets home from school. She's so tired after a long day that she is no longer willing to "work". I'd really like to see this skill begin to take shape, even if I don't see much of it at home.
At this point, I'm not so worried about her learning her letters or her numbers. She knows those already and can recite the alphabet both forwards and backwards. She can also spell (approximately) 15 words on her own (but she likes to have each letter repeated back to her). She is constantly asking how to spell words she isn't familiar with the spelling and that number continues to rise. I also suspect she can read many words, but I don't have any proof of this.
I know I've said this before, but I'll say it again. Rachel needs to remain in CAPP. I'm hoping that, since she's been so successful in this program, this will be a non-issue. Why would they change something that is working so well? I'm hoping they don't take the "less is more" philosophy too literally.
I just suppose I need to get my research hat on. I need to learn exactly what is expected at these meetings so I can come in fully prepared and be the best advocate I can. Hopefully, by the time we have Simon's meeting in November, this will be easy since I'll already be a bit more prepared. And, since I hope to include some of these things in his list of goals, I'll have a better idea as to how this should be done.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Going a bit off topic -- The Power of Music
In late July, I read an entry on the Laurie Berkner Band Blog and it talks about the magic of music. A paragraph there reads, "We want to know if your kids have any "magic songs" - what songs make them feel happy, special, and/or magical inside, or calms them down? What song is a "must-have" in the car? What about at bedtime? Bath time? Etc." (full article at http://thelaurieberknerbandblog.typepad.com/the-laurie-berkner-band/2010/07/magical-music.html). Ever since reading this, I've been thinking about it and how it relates to each of my 3 children. Now the time has come to put some of these thoughts here.....
Probably the earliest songs that we sung to our kids to calm them down that they reacted positively to were songs that we made up our own words, or at least modified the existing words to ones that seem to fit the moment. For example, I sing the "I Love You" song, usually to Rachel and Simon (until recently) every night before bed. It's sung to the same tune as "Are You Sleeping" and it's sung through 3 times -- it mentions each kid's name in each of the three positions and when singing it to only Rachel and Simon, I'd switch the order daily as to who's name went first. We also sing "Go To Sleep" (Brahm's Lullabye) with a slight modification to words that Kevin made up for Daniel when he was a baby. The words to both songs are below.
However, there have been many other songs have also done the trick. For Daniel, the first one was probably children's song "The Ants Go Marching". He always enjoyed anticipating the next number or the rhyme or performing the motions. But when he was about 16-18 months old (or so), we discovered "The Wiggles" on Playhouse Disney. This was a HUGE introduction for him for many many many songs. His favorite song, from that time forward for probably close to a year, was "Rockabye Your Bear", by The Wiggles. He loved the song, in any form that it was performed. It would be a direct performance on the screen, or at a "Wiggly Concert", or it would be sung by myself or his Dad -- any way he'd get to hear that song, it would be a hit. He also discovered "Can You Point Your Fingers and Do The Twist". This one didn't have the same impact right away, but he loved to dance to it, and after Rachel and Simon were born, Kevin would sing it while putting Rachel and/or Simon in their carseat, Daniel would dance to it, and it would keep them all entertained (which makes it the first comfort song for Rachel and Simon).
Then, when Daniel was just over 2.5 and the twins were about 10 months old, we discovered the Laurie Berkner Band, by recommendation of a friend of mine. We started seeing her performances on (then) Noggin's Move To The Music that was sometimes tacked on at the end of a VOD Blue's Clues (Daniel discovered Blue's Clues just when I stopped working). The two songs that kept coming up were "Under A Shady Tree" and "Googleheads". The kids liked "Shady Tree", but "Googleheads" continues to be an ABSOLUTE favorite of Rachel's. As soon as she hears it coming on either Jack's Big Music Show (which the twins LOVE) or just the next song playing in the car, she starts shouting "EYES"!!!!!!!
We have also used songs to help Rachel get through tasks that she doesn't want to complete. I will sing a song to her and when the song is over, the job is done. The most popular ones for that is "I'm Not Perfect" or "Mister" (both LBB songs) but we've done several songs by The Wiggles in the past as well, and it's usually while I'm combing out her hair. She knows to anticipate when I'm getting near the end and we always end these songs the same way. I've also started using this technique sometimes when she's sitting on the toilet -- she needs to try until the song is done. Then she can get up and play. It's helpful to get her to stop rushing which often leads to accidents.
Simon is the most interesting one of the three when it comes to music. From the time he was about 4 weeks old, we noticed that he responds to music. My parents stayed with us for a week to help me make the adjustment from being a mother to 1 to a mother to 3 (my in-laws were here the week before) and also just give me some extra hands to help as I recovered from the c-section. My mother noticed one of her first days here that he would quiet down if she started to sing to him. It didn't matter what. Just the sound of a melody was soothing. Consequently, I've been looking into music programs for him starting this term, whereas I'm waiting a little longer for the other two -- if he is so responsive to music, we should be using it. Unfortunately, most programs I've found for preschoolers, much less preschoolers with special needs, meet during the day, while Simon's in school. So, I'm trying to do things on my own and will look for next term. I can only imagine how wonderful that outlet would be for him -- and it would be so nice for him to have his own special way of expressing himself.
Rachel and Simon's newest "magic song(s)" are both by the Laurie Berkner Band. The first one is "The Goldfish Song". This gets sung EVERYWHERE -- at mealtime, while waiting for the bus, while getting dressed, in the tub, on any little whim -- the only place I don't let them sing it is at bedtime. They both love it. Also, for the last two weeks or so, I've replaced the "I Love You" song with "Moon Moon Moon". The strange part is, the first time I sung it to them, I realized about halfway through, I didn't know all the words (or tune) if I wasn't singing along with the CD. So, I made it up. I was mostly wrong, but that doesn't matter -- I have to continue singing it just that way. Funnily enough, when they hear it the correct way on the CD, it doesn't phase them. That's Laurie's way and Mommy sings it Mommy's way at bedtime. No worries!
But all 3 of my kids love to sing along with music whenever they possibly can. Sometimes they'll do it at the top of their lungs. Other times, in a high-pitched monotone. Sometimes with the dancing. Sometimes while they are simply lying in bed. But they always want to hear it.
It's just the "Magic of Music".
Probably the earliest songs that we sung to our kids to calm them down that they reacted positively to were songs that we made up our own words, or at least modified the existing words to ones that seem to fit the moment. For example, I sing the "I Love You" song, usually to Rachel and Simon (until recently) every night before bed. It's sung to the same tune as "Are You Sleeping" and it's sung through 3 times -- it mentions each kid's name in each of the three positions and when singing it to only Rachel and Simon, I'd switch the order daily as to who's name went first. We also sing "Go To Sleep" (Brahm's Lullabye) with a slight modification to words that Kevin made up for Daniel when he was a baby. The words to both songs are below.
However, there have been many other songs have also done the trick. For Daniel, the first one was probably children's song "The Ants Go Marching". He always enjoyed anticipating the next number or the rhyme or performing the motions. But when he was about 16-18 months old (or so), we discovered "The Wiggles" on Playhouse Disney. This was a HUGE introduction for him for many many many songs. His favorite song, from that time forward for probably close to a year, was "Rockabye Your Bear", by The Wiggles. He loved the song, in any form that it was performed. It would be a direct performance on the screen, or at a "Wiggly Concert", or it would be sung by myself or his Dad -- any way he'd get to hear that song, it would be a hit. He also discovered "Can You Point Your Fingers and Do The Twist". This one didn't have the same impact right away, but he loved to dance to it, and after Rachel and Simon were born, Kevin would sing it while putting Rachel and/or Simon in their carseat, Daniel would dance to it, and it would keep them all entertained (which makes it the first comfort song for Rachel and Simon).
Then, when Daniel was just over 2.5 and the twins were about 10 months old, we discovered the Laurie Berkner Band, by recommendation of a friend of mine. We started seeing her performances on (then) Noggin's Move To The Music that was sometimes tacked on at the end of a VOD Blue's Clues (Daniel discovered Blue's Clues just when I stopped working). The two songs that kept coming up were "Under A Shady Tree" and "Googleheads". The kids liked "Shady Tree", but "Googleheads" continues to be an ABSOLUTE favorite of Rachel's. As soon as she hears it coming on either Jack's Big Music Show (which the twins LOVE) or just the next song playing in the car, she starts shouting "EYES"!!!!!!!
We have also used songs to help Rachel get through tasks that she doesn't want to complete. I will sing a song to her and when the song is over, the job is done. The most popular ones for that is "I'm Not Perfect" or "Mister" (both LBB songs) but we've done several songs by The Wiggles in the past as well, and it's usually while I'm combing out her hair. She knows to anticipate when I'm getting near the end and we always end these songs the same way. I've also started using this technique sometimes when she's sitting on the toilet -- she needs to try until the song is done. Then she can get up and play. It's helpful to get her to stop rushing which often leads to accidents.
Simon is the most interesting one of the three when it comes to music. From the time he was about 4 weeks old, we noticed that he responds to music. My parents stayed with us for a week to help me make the adjustment from being a mother to 1 to a mother to 3 (my in-laws were here the week before) and also just give me some extra hands to help as I recovered from the c-section. My mother noticed one of her first days here that he would quiet down if she started to sing to him. It didn't matter what. Just the sound of a melody was soothing. Consequently, I've been looking into music programs for him starting this term, whereas I'm waiting a little longer for the other two -- if he is so responsive to music, we should be using it. Unfortunately, most programs I've found for preschoolers, much less preschoolers with special needs, meet during the day, while Simon's in school. So, I'm trying to do things on my own and will look for next term. I can only imagine how wonderful that outlet would be for him -- and it would be so nice for him to have his own special way of expressing himself.
Rachel and Simon's newest "magic song(s)" are both by the Laurie Berkner Band. The first one is "The Goldfish Song". This gets sung EVERYWHERE -- at mealtime, while waiting for the bus, while getting dressed, in the tub, on any little whim -- the only place I don't let them sing it is at bedtime. They both love it. Also, for the last two weeks or so, I've replaced the "I Love You" song with "Moon Moon Moon". The strange part is, the first time I sung it to them, I realized about halfway through, I didn't know all the words (or tune) if I wasn't singing along with the CD. So, I made it up. I was mostly wrong, but that doesn't matter -- I have to continue singing it just that way. Funnily enough, when they hear it the correct way on the CD, it doesn't phase them. That's Laurie's way and Mommy sings it Mommy's way at bedtime. No worries!
But all 3 of my kids love to sing along with music whenever they possibly can. Sometimes they'll do it at the top of their lungs. Other times, in a high-pitched monotone. Sometimes with the dancing. Sometimes while they are simply lying in bed. But they always want to hear it.
It's just the "Magic of Music".
I Love You Song (to the tune of "Are You Sleeping") (sung 3 times, each time moving the names around so that everyone is first, middle and last name recited once)
I love Rachel; I love Simon
Yes I do; Yes I do
I love Daniel too
I love all of you
YES I DO! YES I DO!
Go To Sleep (Brahm's Lullabye) (name order switches nightly)
Go to sleep; Go to sleep
Go to sleep Rachel and Simon
Go to sleep; Go to sleep
Go to sleep both of you.
You've had a busy day
And you should be so tired
I hope that you're sleepy
And that you're not wired.
I love Rachel; I love Simon
Yes I do; Yes I do
I love Daniel too
I love all of you
YES I DO! YES I DO!
Go To Sleep (Brahm's Lullabye) (name order switches nightly)
Go to sleep; Go to sleep
Go to sleep Rachel and Simon
Go to sleep; Go to sleep
Go to sleep both of you.
You've had a busy day
And you should be so tired
I hope that you're sleepy
And that you're not wired.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
It's that time again.....
Yup....it's on. We're unofficially scheduled. Rachel is about to have another IEP Meeting. The tentative date is October 18, in the morning, and we're going to discuss her goals. It's only about 6 weeks before her existing IEP expires.
I'm almost as nervous about this meeting as I was about the one on December 1 last year. And this time, I requested it!!!! I'm afraid their going to try to take her out of CAPP and put her in PEP-INC. If that's true, it is something I need to shut down right away -- she has been unbelievably successful since January 12 (and before). I attribute MUCH of that to the program that she's currently enrolled, i.e. CAPP. If they remove her from the program now, what's to say she's not going to experience a significant regression?
The "problem" is her annual goals -- she's pretty much achieved them all. We want her to continue to grow. We also want her to work on some things that were not considered particularly important 9.5 months ago. Did we not put enough expectations on her last year? The fact that she nearly reached all of her goals was apparent to her ESY teacher in July -- that was after only 6 months of the program. Do we need to make the goals more aggressive? Or do we simply need to be prepared to have multiple meetings in a single year? There are families, I know, that have nearly monthly IEP meetings in order to address their kids' needs and evaluate their progress. Are we going to be like that for her?
And, as is often the case when I have to do something for one twin, should I consider doing this for Simon as well? He has NOT come close to achieving his goals and his meeting is due on or around November 30. But there are things that I would like to reshape. And, also unlike Rachel, I'm not always 100% certain that his placement is correct. Would he be doing better if he were at CAPP? I don't think he's ready for PEP-INC though. Would he be better served with me requesting a meeting sooner rather than later?
I guess the thing is, I'm not sure how a follow-up meeting is run, and sitting here right here and now, I feel totally unprepared. Is it just reviewing the goals, or is it more like the initial meeting where much time is spent determining eligibility for an IEP? Will they argue placements with me, or will they agree with me that Rachel is where she belongs? If they don't agree with me, how do I convince them of the truth (in her case) that I'm right? But I'm getting ahead of myself. I just need to get myself prepared for her meeting, not worry about Simon until after it's over and then I can be sure that everything is exactly the way it should be. Just hope I can get some sleep so I CAN work on being prepared.....
Right?
I just need to remember; the most important goal for me at this meeting: RACHEL NEEDS TO REMAIN IN CAPP!!!!!!!!!!
I'm almost as nervous about this meeting as I was about the one on December 1 last year. And this time, I requested it!!!! I'm afraid their going to try to take her out of CAPP and put her in PEP-INC. If that's true, it is something I need to shut down right away -- she has been unbelievably successful since January 12 (and before). I attribute MUCH of that to the program that she's currently enrolled, i.e. CAPP. If they remove her from the program now, what's to say she's not going to experience a significant regression?
The "problem" is her annual goals -- she's pretty much achieved them all. We want her to continue to grow. We also want her to work on some things that were not considered particularly important 9.5 months ago. Did we not put enough expectations on her last year? The fact that she nearly reached all of her goals was apparent to her ESY teacher in July -- that was after only 6 months of the program. Do we need to make the goals more aggressive? Or do we simply need to be prepared to have multiple meetings in a single year? There are families, I know, that have nearly monthly IEP meetings in order to address their kids' needs and evaluate their progress. Are we going to be like that for her?
And, as is often the case when I have to do something for one twin, should I consider doing this for Simon as well? He has NOT come close to achieving his goals and his meeting is due on or around November 30. But there are things that I would like to reshape. And, also unlike Rachel, I'm not always 100% certain that his placement is correct. Would he be doing better if he were at CAPP? I don't think he's ready for PEP-INC though. Would he be better served with me requesting a meeting sooner rather than later?
I guess the thing is, I'm not sure how a follow-up meeting is run, and sitting here right here and now, I feel totally unprepared. Is it just reviewing the goals, or is it more like the initial meeting where much time is spent determining eligibility for an IEP? Will they argue placements with me, or will they agree with me that Rachel is where she belongs? If they don't agree with me, how do I convince them of the truth (in her case) that I'm right? But I'm getting ahead of myself. I just need to get myself prepared for her meeting, not worry about Simon until after it's over and then I can be sure that everything is exactly the way it should be. Just hope I can get some sleep so I CAN work on being prepared.....
Right?
I just need to remember; the most important goal for me at this meeting: RACHEL NEEDS TO REMAIN IN CAPP!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, September 20, 2010
We put it off long enough.....
....now it's time to go again. I hate doing this. I always put it off for as long as possible. But it's getting out of hand. We need to do this. It's becoming unruly. We were supposed to go last week, but illness got in the way. Yup......It's time for Simon to get a HAIRCUT.
Simon has NEVER liked to get haircuts, but it wasn't so bad early on. Unlike with his older brother, we started with the buzz, permitting the stylist to use the clippers (for Daniel they were only allowed to use the scissors for the longest time). But the experience has been getting steadily worse. I'm not sure if it's just that he's getting bigger (consequently stronger) or if he's becoming more afraid of the situation, or something completely different. But now he HATES getting his haircut. And when Simon HATES something, we try to avoid it as best as possible, which may not be helping him much.
We used to go to a place in the local shopping mall specializing in cutting kid's hair called Cartoon Cuts. But, we went one day and the person who ALWAYS cut his hair was gone. Then the next time we went, the store was gone. We had to find somewhere else.
There's another kid's haircut place not too far from here. I had taken Daniel there once before, before we moved 5 miles further up the road, called The Yellow Balloon. They were OK, but I really preferred the way this one person at Cartoon Cuts did the kids hair and the extra travel distance was enough to push me towards the mall, so we hadn't gone back for a while. That is, until this summer when Simon needed a haircut and that was the only place I could think of to take him.
I sit in the chair holding Simon tight, keeping my arms around his so he can't squirm away (despite his many attempts at it) and the stylist gets started. She goes as fast as possible -- trying to be done within 5 minutes, tops. Then, when it's all over, Simon gets a handful of Goldfish crackers (or whatever else is handy in the huge backpack I carry with me when I go anywhere with any of my children), I'm wishing for an aspirin (for the headache) and an icepack (for the bruises), and we head home.
But he looks so much better (once he's calmed back down), as you can see in these pre-post shots.
There's got to be an easier way. I know it. I just need to find it. And before Simon gets much bigger and stronger. He's quite violent when he feels trapped.
Simon has NEVER liked to get haircuts, but it wasn't so bad early on. Unlike with his older brother, we started with the buzz, permitting the stylist to use the clippers (for Daniel they were only allowed to use the scissors for the longest time). But the experience has been getting steadily worse. I'm not sure if it's just that he's getting bigger (consequently stronger) or if he's becoming more afraid of the situation, or something completely different. But now he HATES getting his haircut. And when Simon HATES something, we try to avoid it as best as possible, which may not be helping him much.
We used to go to a place in the local shopping mall specializing in cutting kid's hair called Cartoon Cuts. But, we went one day and the person who ALWAYS cut his hair was gone. Then the next time we went, the store was gone. We had to find somewhere else.
There's another kid's haircut place not too far from here. I had taken Daniel there once before, before we moved 5 miles further up the road, called The Yellow Balloon. They were OK, but I really preferred the way this one person at Cartoon Cuts did the kids hair and the extra travel distance was enough to push me towards the mall, so we hadn't gone back for a while. That is, until this summer when Simon needed a haircut and that was the only place I could think of to take him.
I sit in the chair holding Simon tight, keeping my arms around his so he can't squirm away (despite his many attempts at it) and the stylist gets started. She goes as fast as possible -- trying to be done within 5 minutes, tops. Then, when it's all over, Simon gets a handful of Goldfish crackers (or whatever else is handy in the huge backpack I carry with me when I go anywhere with any of my children), I'm wishing for an aspirin (for the headache) and an icepack (for the bruises), and we head home.
But he looks so much better (once he's calmed back down), as you can see in these pre-post shots.
There's got to be an easier way. I know it. I just need to find it. And before Simon gets much bigger and stronger. He's quite violent when he feels trapped.
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