The strangeness continues....

.....I've mentioned before that Rachel is sensitive to Simon. If Simon gets upset, so does she. She will cry. She will come over and bury her head in our necks. And we know this behavior holds true for some other children to whom she has a "sensitivity" for. However, this has been changing. And in a very odd way. And a very unpleasant way as well....

At home, whenever Simon gets upset, she no longer starts to cry and comes to me or Kevin for comfort. She will run over to Big Brother Daniel and ATTACK him, like it's his fault. She will hit him. She will try to pull him down. She will knee him in the chest if he is lying down. She will climb onto his bed and wake him up if it's early enough in the morning. She'll even try to strangle him. It's like she becomes a child possessed.

And today, things got even stranger. Hurting Daniel wasn't solving the problem, so now she's taken to hurting herself. She will bang her head into the table or onto the floor, then come over to us crying because "Rachel bonk". Well, DUH!!!! When you bang your head into the table or the floor repeatedly, it's GOING to hurt!!!!! She seems to recognize that she's not getting the comfort she needs from us when she's just coming to us. We keep telling her that she shouldn't be upset just because Simon is upset. So, now she seems to be legitimately making herself upset and crying. I think she's hoping this way she will truly get the sympathy that she craves. And also by hurting the way Simon appears to be hurting, perhaps she can take away some of his frustration.

Tomorrow I'm following up with our existing developmental pediatrician to go over the ADHD issues. The appointment will have several goals including her informing us what she believes we need to do to address the ADHD, but also to help us find someone who will continue to follow our cases once she retires in a few weeks. You can trust I'll be bringing this stuff up (as well as other issues).

There are always more questions.....

Autism and Empathy

We've been noticing something recently. Rachel really loves her brothers, Simon in particular. She has always been sensitive to his feelings and they have always demonstrated what I call a "twin bond" -- they only have to glance at each other and they seem to have a full detailed conversation. We have never been able to scold Simon in front of her, not because of the noise, but because it meant her brother was in trouble. I had thought that part of that was the unexpected nature of this (Simon getting scolded is outside of her control), but for the last few weeks, we're starting to see that may not be the case, at least not in full.

A new favorite television show is "Super Why". We watch it on PBS Kids' Sprout as well as on our local public television station. She seems to be obsessed with the episode focusing on "Jack and the Beanstalk" because the "problem" they are trying to solve is resolving the main character's little sister's temper tantrum. "Joy" is crying. Screaming. She's having a "HUMONGOUS tantrum". Rachel has been walking around asking, "What's the matter, Joy?" or suggesting offering a bottle to Joy to make her feel better. I've also been receiving notes from her teacher explaining that she has been more emotional in school lately when another student is upset. She also gets upset. She tries to cry, and is often successful.

I know this may seem strange to say, but I don't think of this as a negative development. I think this is evidence that she is trying to determine how to express "Empathy". Dictionary.com defines empathy as "the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another." I was always concerned that because of her autism diagnosis whether she would ever fully be able to express or experience empathy. But she is proving me wrong lately.

I created and administer a Facebook page (We Care About Someone With Autism). Yesterday, I chose to have a day long topic discussion about autism and empathy. The theory that an individual with autism cannot experience empathy was one of the first myths that I was exposed to when we first began our journey into the autism world. We are obviously seeing that is not the case, at least in Rachel. I was wondering what others had to say on the subject. I was pleasantly surprised to see and learn that others often see the same behaviors. The biggest difference is that these children often need to learn how to express it effectively, as this skill is one that is often lacking. I have been addressing this issue by telling Rachel to ask the "sad" person, "Why are you so sad?" I've only been doing this for a few days so it's too soon to see if this will help to resolve the problem that we are currently experiencing. But I wouldn't really call it a problem -- I'd just call it a development.

But Rachel will always feel something special for her twin brother!