Friday, July 9, 2010

The subject is returning......AGAIN

What to do about Simon? This question never seems to go away. And it's driving me CRAZY!!!!!! Is he in the right program? If not, what program IS the right program? Is he in the right class WITHIN the program? Or does that not make any difference? What am I supposed to do about him?

I really wish this wasn't so difficult. And it really shouldn't be. The staff at MPAC is unbelievably approachable. However, when I went to talk to them about him last year, I couldn't bring myself to voice any of my concerns. The words just wouldn't come. I let them tell me how much he's improved during the previous 3.5 months while I just sat there nodding my head. And I allowed myself to be satisfied that they would come to the house and show me how to see these improvements at home (since I wasn't seeing it there and he was obviously doing these things at school). Well, we had that home visit, and things seemed better for a little while. And then, that alone time with me and Simon last week also seemed to show me how much better he really is doing. But it still feels like it's not enough. I watch him flapping his arms like a crazy person at the table. I watch him throw fits all the time and I can't bring him back until it has a chance to cease. I'm watching his violent tendencies starting to get in the way of his relationships with his brother and sister. And I FEEL LIKE THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT!!!!!!

I hate feeling like this. Right now I'm picking him up from school/camp daily, and I'm seeing the other kids in the program. I see where he lines up with them. I see the abilities that he has that the other kids don't (and what the other kids are doing that Simon's not). I really probably need to once again sit down with the school administrators again and try to figure out what's going on. In some ways, I'm hoping, now that they are getting to know Rachel as well (through this camp they are running), they will understand a little better what I'm going through. No one can question her progress. And she has set a standard that Simon seems to be incapable of meeting. But how do I know if this standard is truly unattainable at this point, or if there is something there that I have to fix?

I know I have the option to request another IEP meeting. However, I'm really not sure that's the best course of action right now. I don't know what the answers are. What if, during that meeting, they make changes that make things WORSE? I feel like I need to have the answers for myself before taking that step.

Normally (and sitting here right now), having the twins on the spectrum doesn't really bother me much (as compared to one OR the other). It allows me to treat them the same way (or at least similarly) and not feeling like I'm favoring one over the other. I will admit -- I would have preferred if they were both "neurotypical". But that's just not the case. But this is where having them both there really causes me concerns.

I just wish everything could be simple and that I could just walk away with all the answers.

No comments:

Post a Comment