So Frustrated

I probably shouldn't be writing a post tonight -- I've just spent much of the day in such a foul mood. But then again, maybe that means I should be writing a post tonight given what this blog has become.

Today was Rachel's last day of school. Daniel has been home for nearly 2 weeks. Simon has school until Friday, but his days are short. But the insanity has definitely begun. Daniel has cabin fever because now we can't spend the day out doing special activities. Rachel will be home all day tomorrow and Friday. Simon will be home before noon during these 3 days. I'm not sure what that's going to do to our existing routine.

I'm not sure how I'm going to accommodate Domino's morning walk anymore -- until now I've been mostly walking her after the twins head to school but giving her a short walk between Simon and Daniel leaving, just around the block with Daniel playing Wii and me leaving the door open -- if he shouts, I'm always in ear-shot, but he's never needed me to be around during this time other than to ask if he can play another short game. Since Daniel's finished school, he's been coming with me for Domino's walks. But I can't do that with Rachel or Simon, much less both of them. I tried to put just Simon in the wagon and taking Domino for her walk a couple of times after Domino came home -- that was, I'm sure, a hilarious sight -- me dragging the wagon behind me trying to keep all 4 wheels on the ground while in front of me is a medium sized black dog dragging me. Normally, Domino takes a bit of a firm hand during our walks, but with the wagon that statement is even more so because I completely lose control of the pace of the walk. Additionally, by about 1/3 of the way through the walk I usually have a bag of dog waste that I'm carrying which makes pulling the wagon extremely difficult and uncomfortable for me to hold the leash. And this isn't even going into the scenarios of when we come across another dog on our journey. So, between now and when I get up in the morning, I need to come up with a strategy, that I will need to employ for the next 2.5 weeks until everyone is back in camp/school.

There's the next problem -- surviving the next few weeks. Daniel is about to go back into a routine next week (thank goodness). His camps begin on Monday and continue for 6 weeks (between the 3 programs), and I think he's looking forward to it at least as much as I am. I'll have both Rachel and Simon next week full time. Then the following week, Rachel will begin ESY for the mornings and I'll just have Simon. I'll be picking Rachel up from school (in a location I'm still not sure of -- I know what school she's in, but have NO CLUE where it's located) for that first week because I have to pick up Daniel 1/2 hour after her program ends -- I don't think I can be home in time to receive her bus if she comes home on the bus. Then the following week, Simon begins ESY and he and Rachel begin their camp(s). I'm still trying to work out the details about everyone's schedule and change around the order of Daniel's camps.

I think once we get to July 6, we're in good shape. But that's still 2.5 weeks away and after today, I'm already going a bit insane. Hopefully, I can chalk today up to a lack of sleep (last night was, we'll just say a REALLY bad night) and poor and unpredictable weather. If that's the case, then I'm worrying about nothing. But that's rarely the case.

Oh, well. I always felt I thrived on insanity. That's been doubly tested over the last 15 months or so. Now that I KNOW what "insanity" is, I'm not really sure that's true. But this is my life. There's no such thing as "calm" when you're a parent. There are always people and things that cause worry and concern -- but there are also always people and things that provide joy and pride. When things get hard, I need to search for those joyful things rather than spending my sparing energy focusing on the worries. I always worry about Simon (in particular) and Rachel (to a lesser degree) but they are still wonderful kids and I know they are growing. 2.5 weeks off from school will do them both good.